Let's talk about problematic teenagers.
I'm quite glad to see that Singapore is pretty quiet about Amos Yee now. :)
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I had been wanting to weigh in on this but couldn't because I was so busy with exams :/ Anyway I just want to declare that I am 100% apathetic about this Amos Yee. I agree that he was obnoxious (especially when he falsely accused his bailor of sexual assault, and everyone knows how seriously I take these things), but the whole issue was blown way out of proportion and once again showed the ugly side of some Singaporeans. I'm also not going to stand on high moral ground and judge his parents or his upbringing. What this kid needs is proper guidance and counselling, not more judgement and condemnation by society.
But enough about Amos Yee. Instead, I'm going to try and understand why teenagers in general behave the way they do.
I've been 16 before, and while that hardly makes me an expert on adolescence, I'm perhaps able to stand in the shoes of my 16 year old self to
Teens- some of them are full of angst, confusion, trying to navigate the world of complicated relationships for the first time. They think they are mature beyond their years (when they really aren't), and they think they know enough about the world to make a stand on things. Some of them may even have thought or said some really stupid things. I've even had the misfortune of having to teach some of them these year and trust me, it was a traumatic experience in more ways than one.
But how do we deal with teenagers who behave like Amos Yee?
I don't have an answer to that but instead of trying to erm, psycho-analyse every teenager in this world and offer a prescription (because as I've said, I'm not an expert on kids), I'm going to talk about my experience in dealing with a 14-year old who displayed similar issues with Amos Yee.
I've actively volunteered at one of the secondary schools under Model United Nations Schools' Programme for about 2 years now. I had a very good impression of the British education system in general, until I met this particular bunch. Let's just say it left a really bad taste in my mouth, and it made me very, very worried for their future.
The story can be summarised below:
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A little background- this class is not your typical rowdy Singaporean class. Even the most difficult of Singaporean kids, I dare say, would have some sense of awareness and guilt should they ever piss their teacher off. These kids are a complete nightmare- they would yell and run around the classroom (they are 14), they have the audacity to play with their iPads in class, and there was never a session I didn't get so pissed off with them that I had to invite some of them to leave and even "invite" is a really kind word to use. I'm not going to mince my words and pretend I'm the kindest, nicest teacher around because I'm really an Asian Tiger Mom from hell and if it takes yelling at you to keep you quiet and let those who want to learn listen, I will. I had one job, and I wanted to do it properly. If I cannot make everyone listen I can only ensure the ones who want to learn can benefit by removing the sources of distraction in the classroom.
No prizes for guessing that by the time the above incident happened (which was already the final class), I was so pissed with them I didn't even feel like giving them a chance or the benefit that they were still kids anymore. Since yelling at them did not work, I brought the matter up to the school's Model United Nations programme teacher-in-charge.
To my utter horror (and pleasant surprise, actually), the Vice Principal of the school responded.
See? I'm not being frigid Tiger Mom- even your presumably much kinder and more easy-going British vice principal felt their behaviour was completely unacceptable.
This was my reply to him:
Firstly, I must disclaim that this is not an accurate representation of the British education system at all. I have volunteered at the same school the previous year too, like I wrote in my email, and my class then had been nothing but sweet, inquisitive and willing to learn. I have no idea what possessed this bunch of kids but I'll just be happy if I never have to deal with them again, ever.
Secondly, I actually felt that this episode was a very tricky one because we aren't dealing with a bunch of obnoxious adults who can at least be reasoned with. Rather, we are dealing with the ignorance of a child and the lack of maturity of these children to critically assess what they were watching and saying here. I know I sounded like I was incredibly angry with them in my email (and trust me, I WAS), but I can't blame them.
Just out of curiosity I went to the Youtube channel Vice to look for the "anti-feminist" video that the kid so wholeheartedly absorbed, and I believe it was this one:
I don't recommend watching it if you can't stomach it (because it is 14 minutes of WTF and the soundtrack just made me LOL), but it was actually a video mocking the absurdity of anti-feminists. The kid was unfortunately unable to detect the sarcasm in the video and took everything they said literally.
Kids have access to all kinds of information these days (and to me it's absolutely 100% the fault of hate groups that post hateful material online within the reach of children), and I don't think it's reasonable to expect schools and parents to be able to monitor everything. I'm just glad I managed to arrest this issue and bring to the school's attention the kind of stuff the students have been saying so they can be given proper guidance before it is too late.
My point is, where should we draw the line when it comes to what teenagers should read or say?
It is pretty apparent that at the age of 14-16, many teenagers still lack good judgement. They simply are not discerning enough to filter out harmful messages that they are fed by the media. I had been taught to evaluate sources and their reliability during history classes in secondary one but I believe it still takes a high level of emotional maturity and awareness to know if certain information is bad for you if taken wholesale.
This is why legally, there is a lawful age of consent for children, and movies have maturity ratings. This is also why my student completely absorbed the anti-feminist video into his system which fueled his toxic beliefs that women deserve to raped if they acted a certain way. This is also why Amos Yee wholeheartedly believed in the information presented by Roy Ngerng and concluded that the Singapore government was corrupt (though I suspect he's had these thoughts for a long time and simply used Roy's information to feed his beliefs). This is also why he managed to create such a spectacle of himself in Singapore without long-term consideration for his future.
Ultimately, this is my final take on the issue- I don't think verbally or physically abusing a child will do him any good. Kids need to be educated, and this is the perfect time to let them learn from their own mistakes. They also need this space to learn from their own mistakes, and they need second chances (which is why I never called for an apology from my students, just for them to be properly counselled so they would not grow up with toxic mindsets). I think adults should also stop to consider if we're only lashing out at problematic teens because we've turned vindictive and want to "teach the brat a lesson", or if it's really for the child's own good. After all, we've once been there too, and we'd have liked to have that second chance that would have changed our lives for the better. :)
No prizes for guessing that by the time the above incident happened (which was already the final class), I was so pissed with them I didn't even feel like giving them a chance or the benefit that they were still kids anymore. Since yelling at them did not work, I brought the matter up to the school's Model United Nations programme teacher-in-charge.
To my utter horror (and pleasant surprise, actually), the Vice Principal of the school responded.
See? I'm not being frigid Tiger Mom- even your presumably much kinder and more easy-going British vice principal felt their behaviour was completely unacceptable.
This was my reply to him:
Secondly, I actually felt that this episode was a very tricky one because we aren't dealing with a bunch of obnoxious adults who can at least be reasoned with. Rather, we are dealing with the ignorance of a child and the lack of maturity of these children to critically assess what they were watching and saying here. I know I sounded like I was incredibly angry with them in my email (and trust me, I WAS), but I can't blame them.
Just out of curiosity I went to the Youtube channel Vice to look for the "anti-feminist" video that the kid so wholeheartedly absorbed, and I believe it was this one:
I don't recommend watching it if you can't stomach it (because it is 14 minutes of WTF and the soundtrack just made me LOL), but it was actually a video mocking the absurdity of anti-feminists. The kid was unfortunately unable to detect the sarcasm in the video and took everything they said literally.
Kids have access to all kinds of information these days (and to me it's absolutely 100% the fault of hate groups that post hateful material online within the reach of children), and I don't think it's reasonable to expect schools and parents to be able to monitor everything. I'm just glad I managed to arrest this issue and bring to the school's attention the kind of stuff the students have been saying so they can be given proper guidance before it is too late.
My point is, where should we draw the line when it comes to what teenagers should read or say?
It is pretty apparent that at the age of 14-16, many teenagers still lack good judgement. They simply are not discerning enough to filter out harmful messages that they are fed by the media. I had been taught to evaluate sources and their reliability during history classes in secondary one but I believe it still takes a high level of emotional maturity and awareness to know if certain information is bad for you if taken wholesale.
This is why legally, there is a lawful age of consent for children, and movies have maturity ratings. This is also why my student completely absorbed the anti-feminist video into his system which fueled his toxic beliefs that women deserve to raped if they acted a certain way. This is also why Amos Yee wholeheartedly believed in the information presented by Roy Ngerng and concluded that the Singapore government was corrupt (though I suspect he's had these thoughts for a long time and simply used Roy's information to feed his beliefs). This is also why he managed to create such a spectacle of himself in Singapore without long-term consideration for his future.
Ultimately, this is my final take on the issue- I don't think verbally or physically abusing a child will do him any good. Kids need to be educated, and this is the perfect time to let them learn from their own mistakes. They also need this space to learn from their own mistakes, and they need second chances (which is why I never called for an apology from my students, just for them to be properly counselled so they would not grow up with toxic mindsets). I think adults should also stop to consider if we're only lashing out at problematic teens because we've turned vindictive and want to "teach the brat a lesson", or if it's really for the child's own good. After all, we've once been there too, and we'd have liked to have that second chance that would have changed our lives for the better. :)
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