Nice guys vs assholes
Today I'm going to answer the million dollar question all men have in their minds: Why do girls fall for assholes?
I've always been curious as to why men even have to ask us that question. A lot of my male friends and colleagues are married or attached and 100% of them are non-asswipes. Besides, why would we girls want to date bad boys? It is impossible to communicate with someone who is rude and full of himself. We aren't turned on by guys who are constantly playing other girls behind our backs. And we certainly don't crave a life running away from the police with an outlaw boyfriend, that's for sure. The men who believe that girls love assholes generally have this theory that it is because women love a challenge (????) and don't like guys who are too agreeable or are doormats.
Well, today I'm going to share with you guys Delia's Theory.
My belief is that women seem to choose the assholes over the nice guys because self-proclaimed nice guys have a very different perception of being nice vs an asshole.
This means: 1) you think you are being nice but you aren't actually a nice guy. 2) you think the guys we fall for are jerks but they aren't actual jerks per se.
There are guys who are genuinely kind-hearted- they look out for their friends' interests within their boy cliques, they love their parents, they help girls with heavy loads, they study hard to get a good job so they can become responsible citizens of society. They also care about their loved ones' emotional well-being and help them grow as a person.
Then there are also the "faux nice guys"- the kind who buys you flowers, dinner and treats you to movies and gets pissed when you don't have sex with them in return. The kind who constantly texts sweet nothings at 2am in the freaking morning then get all whiny and upset when you don't reply. The kind of guy who pities you rather than understand you "Oh your grandma passed away? Awwww cheer up muffin cake". The kind who sees you as a damsel-in-distress and himself as the knight-in-shining-armour, and feels a creepy need to protect you 24/7 from I-don't-know-what.
So there you have it. Two different definitions of "nice", but one is a good kind of nice while the other is just annoying and creepy. No prizes for guessing which kind the girls are attracted to.
And guess what, self-proclaimed nice guys- you're also wrong about your definition of "asshole".
You see, a lot of self-proclaimed nice guys think that there are only 2 kinds of guys in the world- nice guys like themselves who do "romantic stuff" for the girls they like (stuff that I listed above), and guys who treat women badly (aka assholes).
Therefore, when they do all these sweet and romantic (read: creepy) things for girls then get rejected, they get all bitter and confused. They then conclude that girls must hate being treated with respect, hence they must love abusive assholes! With that theory in mind, these "faux nice guys" then morph into ACTUAL assholes.
They become misogynistic bullies. They laugh at boys who genuinely love their parents and girlfriends, calling them "fags". They develop an over-inflated ego and think they are too good for everything and everyone. They think being surrounded by booze, clubs and strippers makes them king.
The reality is that the "assholes" that you see girls falling for are mostly FLAWED, but still DECENT men.
Yes they may be blunt and a little too tactless. They may be young and do childish things like wrestle their friends. They speak too much Hokkien. They don't send flowers or write things to girls using purple ink. They may even forget anniversaries, forgive them for being human- but at the end of the day, they know what it means to treat people around them with RESPECT. They have EQ, which sadly, a lot of you self-proclaimed nice guys don't.
Therefore, self-proclaimed nice guys, here's my answer to your question. Girls love assholes NOT because 1) we hate being respected 2) we secretly want a man who can dominate and tame us. It is because you have a severe lack of understanding of basic human interaction. Maybe stop learning about women from crappy romance soap operas or pick-up artist manuals and actually go out to interact with real human beings for a change.
I've always been curious as to why men even have to ask us that question. A lot of my male friends and colleagues are married or attached and 100% of them are non-asswipes. Besides, why would we girls want to date bad boys? It is impossible to communicate with someone who is rude and full of himself. We aren't turned on by guys who are constantly playing other girls behind our backs. And we certainly don't crave a life running away from the police with an outlaw boyfriend, that's for sure. The men who believe that girls love assholes generally have this theory that it is because women love a challenge (????) and don't like guys who are too agreeable or are doormats.
Well, today I'm going to share with you guys Delia's Theory.
My belief is that women seem to choose the assholes over the nice guys because self-proclaimed nice guys have a very different perception of being nice vs an asshole.
This means: 1) you think you are being nice but you aren't actually a nice guy. 2) you think the guys we fall for are jerks but they aren't actual jerks per se.
There are guys who are genuinely kind-hearted- they look out for their friends' interests within their boy cliques, they love their parents, they help girls with heavy loads, they study hard to get a good job so they can become responsible citizens of society. They also care about their loved ones' emotional well-being and help them grow as a person.
Then there are also the "faux nice guys"- the kind who buys you flowers, dinner and treats you to movies and gets pissed when you don't have sex with them in return. The kind who constantly texts sweet nothings at 2am in the freaking morning then get all whiny and upset when you don't reply. The kind of guy who pities you rather than understand you "Oh your grandma passed away? Awwww cheer up muffin cake". The kind who sees you as a damsel-in-distress and himself as the knight-in-shining-armour, and feels a creepy need to protect you 24/7 from I-don't-know-what.
So there you have it. Two different definitions of "nice", but one is a good kind of nice while the other is just annoying and creepy. No prizes for guessing which kind the girls are attracted to.
And guess what, self-proclaimed nice guys- you're also wrong about your definition of "asshole".
You see, a lot of self-proclaimed nice guys think that there are only 2 kinds of guys in the world- nice guys like themselves who do "romantic stuff" for the girls they like (stuff that I listed above), and guys who treat women badly (aka assholes).
Therefore, when they do all these sweet and romantic (read: creepy) things for girls then get rejected, they get all bitter and confused. They then conclude that girls must hate being treated with respect, hence they must love abusive assholes! With that theory in mind, these "faux nice guys" then morph into ACTUAL assholes.
They become misogynistic bullies. They laugh at boys who genuinely love their parents and girlfriends, calling them "fags". They develop an over-inflated ego and think they are too good for everything and everyone. They think being surrounded by booze, clubs and strippers makes them king.
The reality is that the "assholes" that you see girls falling for are mostly FLAWED, but still DECENT men.
Yes they may be blunt and a little too tactless. They may be young and do childish things like wrestle their friends. They speak too much Hokkien. They don't send flowers or write things to girls using purple ink. They may even forget anniversaries, forgive them for being human- but at the end of the day, they know what it means to treat people around them with RESPECT. They have EQ, which sadly, a lot of you self-proclaimed nice guys don't.
Therefore, self-proclaimed nice guys, here's my answer to your question. Girls love assholes NOT because 1) we hate being respected 2) we secretly want a man who can dominate and tame us. It is because you have a severe lack of understanding of basic human interaction. Maybe stop learning about women from crappy romance soap operas or pick-up artist manuals and actually go out to interact with real human beings for a change.
Comments
Post a Comment