How Rhoda Byrne's The Secret worked for me, in unintended ways
Hi everyone, just thought I'd share about a book read early last year called The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. The Secret is a self-help book whose theories centre around "The Law of Attraction". It states that anyone can will anything they want into their lives simply by asking the universe for it. It can be summarised as follows: "Give out positive energy into the universe and the universe will respond by giving you positive things in return.
Realistically, I don't think I have to explain why I think "The Law of Attraction" is complete nonsense. However, I can quite understand why this book is top seller- who doesn't like to be told that they can just sit around wishing hard that they can strike it rich and money will just fall from the sky? Or that they can stay home all day wishing that they can have the perfect boyfriend and one will just magically show up and ring their doorbell one day? I think we all know by now that that's not how things work- nope, if I want my First Class Honours, I actually have to get out of bed , go to class, do lots and lots of past year papers to achieve it.
That's not to say that the book is completely useless- quite the contrary in fact! Here are 4 ways reading the book changed my life, in unintended ways.
1. Because of this book, I took up reading as a hobby.
Strangely enough, what the book did to me was inspire me to read even more. I didn't have many hobbies outside of school and societies but after finishing The Secret, I went on to pick up The Hunger Games and the Harry Potter series and I read the blogs of many influential people. This actually inspired me to find things outside of school to preoccupy myself with, naturally making me a more motivated and less worrisome person.
2. I found ways to spend my time constructively other than worrying.
One of the most practical things that The Secret advises you to do is to never have self-doubt or think negative thoughts as it will attract more negativity into your life. Well, I think it's especially true for people who are always stressed or worried. A healthy amount of stress should motivate you to
set short term goals and work hard, that's all. Any more and it will start to consume you, suck out your energy and discourage you.
Instead of worrying these days, and trying to distract myself from my problems by spending my time pointlessly on Youtube (which is so destructive, on hindsight!), I simply channel that energy into a gym workout, or I'll write. That energy should be put into something constructive, something that will actually contribute to your goals or your general growth as a person. And I must say this worked really well for me- I'm so much more focused and motivated towards reaching my goals now than I was last year!
3. It has taught me gratitude.
Another thing The Secret teaches is gratitude. Whatever you have in your life that you're thankful for, you will attract more of it into your life. This is very true in relationships. Appreciate your parents, show gratitude for all the great friends you've made in your life... basically, give more love, and you'll receive more love in return. Continually complain that your friends are too weird, not cool enough, not rich enough, too boring... and it's only a matter of time they get tired of your bullshit and leave.
If you take a look around at popular people, (by that I don't mean "famous"- I mean people who are truly well-liked and respected) you'll realise one thing they have in common is they are always full of positivity and love to give to others around them. For me, there have been many amazing people in my life and every one of them has taught me a valuable lesson about life and provided a lot of emotional support for me. I'm thankful to all of them and these days, I find myself focusing more on these amazing people than the ones who don't matter.
4. It has taught me to use "confirmation bias" to my advantage.
"The Secret" is nice way of packaging the theory of a confirmation bias. Very smart, right? Take a nerdy subject, package it into a self-help book and you can earn lots of money! Basically, how confirmation bias works is that whatever you choose to believe, say "All presidents are greedy evil bastards", everything that you observe will appear to feed the beliefs that you have. Choose to believe that "all women only want to date assholes" and you will only pay attention to the one woman you see who is dating an abusive man, out of many others who are in healthy relationships with good men.
How "The Secret" teaches you to use confirmation bias to your advantage is that it makes you see the positive side to everything. If you believe that you're not capable, you're a loser and nothing in life will ever work out for you, then naturally, you will only see every setback in life as a confirmation to that theory. If you believe you're resilient and nothing can stop you, then setbacks are merely obstacles to help you become stronger, agree?
The Secret has helped me see a lot of good in society, even when things popping up on the news try to paint me a different picture. I see so much more positivity in people now- I see a lot more polite and friendly people on the streets, I read about so many nice and inspiring things people do for the disadvantaged, and this has inspired me to do even more for society by helping out in fundraising at uni!
Final thoughts
I would advise anyone reading The Secret to take it with a healthy dose of realism. By "realism" I do not mean cynicism, but goal-setting, planning and concrete actions that will actually move you forward. Sometimes this means having to face painful truths about yourself, failing again and again before finally reaching your goals and having to put in real work. I've even had to change my personality. That said, self-improvement is a painful process, but you need a healthy mind to help you through the actual physical process. The Secret has been a good start point for me in clearing the negative thoughts and self-doubt.
How has 2016 been for you? Let's go smash some goals this year!
Realistically, I don't think I have to explain why I think "The Law of Attraction" is complete nonsense. However, I can quite understand why this book is top seller- who doesn't like to be told that they can just sit around wishing hard that they can strike it rich and money will just fall from the sky? Or that they can stay home all day wishing that they can have the perfect boyfriend and one will just magically show up and ring their doorbell one day? I think we all know by now that that's not how things work- nope, if I want my First Class Honours, I actually have to get out of bed , go to class, do lots and lots of past year papers to achieve it.
That's not to say that the book is completely useless- quite the contrary in fact! Here are 4 ways reading the book changed my life, in unintended ways.
1. Because of this book, I took up reading as a hobby.
Strangely enough, what the book did to me was inspire me to read even more. I didn't have many hobbies outside of school and societies but after finishing The Secret, I went on to pick up The Hunger Games and the Harry Potter series and I read the blogs of many influential people. This actually inspired me to find things outside of school to preoccupy myself with, naturally making me a more motivated and less worrisome person.
2. I found ways to spend my time constructively other than worrying.
One of the most practical things that The Secret advises you to do is to never have self-doubt or think negative thoughts as it will attract more negativity into your life. Well, I think it's especially true for people who are always stressed or worried. A healthy amount of stress should motivate you to
set short term goals and work hard, that's all. Any more and it will start to consume you, suck out your energy and discourage you.
Instead of worrying these days, and trying to distract myself from my problems by spending my time pointlessly on Youtube (which is so destructive, on hindsight!), I simply channel that energy into a gym workout, or I'll write. That energy should be put into something constructive, something that will actually contribute to your goals or your general growth as a person. And I must say this worked really well for me- I'm so much more focused and motivated towards reaching my goals now than I was last year!
3. It has taught me gratitude.
Another thing The Secret teaches is gratitude. Whatever you have in your life that you're thankful for, you will attract more of it into your life. This is very true in relationships. Appreciate your parents, show gratitude for all the great friends you've made in your life... basically, give more love, and you'll receive more love in return. Continually complain that your friends are too weird, not cool enough, not rich enough, too boring... and it's only a matter of time they get tired of your bullshit and leave.
If you take a look around at popular people, (by that I don't mean "famous"- I mean people who are truly well-liked and respected) you'll realise one thing they have in common is they are always full of positivity and love to give to others around them. For me, there have been many amazing people in my life and every one of them has taught me a valuable lesson about life and provided a lot of emotional support for me. I'm thankful to all of them and these days, I find myself focusing more on these amazing people than the ones who don't matter.
4. It has taught me to use "confirmation bias" to my advantage.
"The Secret" is nice way of packaging the theory of a confirmation bias. Very smart, right? Take a nerdy subject, package it into a self-help book and you can earn lots of money! Basically, how confirmation bias works is that whatever you choose to believe, say "All presidents are greedy evil bastards", everything that you observe will appear to feed the beliefs that you have. Choose to believe that "all women only want to date assholes" and you will only pay attention to the one woman you see who is dating an abusive man, out of many others who are in healthy relationships with good men.
How "The Secret" teaches you to use confirmation bias to your advantage is that it makes you see the positive side to everything. If you believe that you're not capable, you're a loser and nothing in life will ever work out for you, then naturally, you will only see every setback in life as a confirmation to that theory. If you believe you're resilient and nothing can stop you, then setbacks are merely obstacles to help you become stronger, agree?
The Secret has helped me see a lot of good in society, even when things popping up on the news try to paint me a different picture. I see so much more positivity in people now- I see a lot more polite and friendly people on the streets, I read about so many nice and inspiring things people do for the disadvantaged, and this has inspired me to do even more for society by helping out in fundraising at uni!
Final thoughts
I would advise anyone reading The Secret to take it with a healthy dose of realism. By "realism" I do not mean cynicism, but goal-setting, planning and concrete actions that will actually move you forward. Sometimes this means having to face painful truths about yourself, failing again and again before finally reaching your goals and having to put in real work. I've even had to change my personality. That said, self-improvement is a painful process, but you need a healthy mind to help you through the actual physical process. The Secret has been a good start point for me in clearing the negative thoughts and self-doubt.
How has 2016 been for you? Let's go smash some goals this year!
Comments
Post a Comment