绿茶婊: Deconstructing the Green Tea Bitch

I am so tired of being accosted by Green Tea Bitches everytime I turn on my laptop to watch shows.

A "Green Tea Bitch" is a popular Chinese internet lingo that describes a girl who looks simple and pure on the outside. Usually wears no makeup and has a girl-next-door demeanor unlike the stereotypical heavily made-up "fox spirit", yet they are far more insidious than said fox spirits. She constantly chants matras like "做好事，说好话，存好心" or "不争，不显，不露“  (loosely translated to mean "life should revolve around nothing but being kind"), yet does things that appear to be kind but are actually damaging to everyone around them. Somehow, they all love orbiting attached men. When other women react to her shenanigans, understandably and reasonably, they play the victim, gaslighting the other women and painting them as jealous and evil.

I want to make an important point here: Green Tea Bitches are media caricatures. They are not real people, because real humans are far more complex than what a drama is able to portray. In fact, I saw a whole list of different types of tea bitches circulating on Facebook. It's not right to box real people up and label them this way, so don't.

Now, these sort of female characters are usually written as villians and are rightfully disliked by the audience.

But why, just WHY, have they recently turned into protagnists too?????

As a viewer I am so tired of being forced to identify with them! 

(Yes I know technically no one forces me to watch these shows but I think even producing them is a crime!)

When Green Tea Bitches are also female leads of Chinese dramas, which are supposedly written for a female audience and inspirational (???) because they are based on the love stories of some great and famous historical figure, it is problematic. 

I've already talked about why romanticisng historical figures is problematic in my entry about Ru Yi's Royal Love in the Palace. 

When it happens often enough in Chinese show after Chinese show I start only to be let down over and over I seriously start to question the kind of things we are promoting in society these days.

Thank god I watch Netflix these days- wait, there's Emily in Paris on that too. She's also a Green Tea Bitch.

A month ago I had the utmost misfortune of meeting the Queen Boss of all Green Tea Bitches to ever be written.

She holds the title of Virtuous Empress of Han. I didn't even know this show existed but I am a follower of this Youtuber who uploaded this summary (click video below to watch). It was only 15 min long but boy did it leave me so fuming mad. 

I am going to be harsh in this post, because I am attacking a fictional character. I believe no real human will actually find themselves having anything in common with this character let alone feel anything or relate to her. I will explain why later.

If you don't understand Chinese, here's the story:

Wei Zi Fu 卫子夫 (Wang Luo Dan) entered the palace as maid. She loves chanting the mantra "不争，不显，不露" (translated to mean "I don't snatch, I don't compete, I don't show off"). Sounds like a very humble girl who will probably lead a peaceful life in the palace who is content to earn enough for her family back home to give them a comfortable life, right? Wrong.

One day, a dancer for an imperial banquet fell ill and Wei Zi Fu was tasked to be her replacement. She accidentally fell her ass down during the banquet (and while anyone knows this sort of accident will probably land the head of the performing trope in hot soup), but who does it matter who it sabo-es if it catches the attention of the Emperor (Raymond Lam) !!111 The Emperor's sister, who was at loggerheads with the Empress for reasons I don't care about, saw an opportunity to plant an insider in the harem and arranged for Wei Zi Fu to sleep with the Emperor.

Which of course Wei Zi Fu was more than happy to do (and INITIATE inside the Emperor's chambers) before the Princess could even finish her instruction. 

What happened to "I don't snatch, I don't compete, I don't show off" you ask? "HAHA I jk only sis" says Wei Zi Fu, "who tf wants to slog 9-5 to earn an honest living like a normal human being? but I am still a nice kind girl don't forget".

Moving on, the Emperor was so touched by her "I don't snatch, I don't compete, I don't show off" life motto that he officially brought her into the harem, made her Lady Wei (卫姬） and promoted her brother to imperial guard by no merit of his but simply because he slept with his sister. The Emperor was obviously a very fair, impartial, uncorrupted meritocratic ruler just like Najib Razak. 

Of course, all Green Tea Bitches will go for the most powerful man while at the same time stringing along another man by her side. This man Duan grew up with Wei Zifu and although he loved her, she only ever saw her as an older brother figure (with all the obligations of a lover like protecting her, caring for her etc).

"Thank you Brother Duan" she goes. Hey Green Tea Bitches, y'all have so many "brothers", are your mothers aware of this extra son they have? Just wondering.

The Empress Ah Jiao obviously disliked her because she was born crazy and jealous and not because Wei Zi Fu stole her husband. She arranged for Wei Zi Fu to care for the concubine dowagers in the cold palace, and poisoned one of them to pin it on Wei Zi Fu. Doesn't matter that this plot made absolutely zero sense and Wei Zi Fu could easily argue her way out of this based on lack of motive and circumstantial evidence. A kind demure virtuous little white rabbit always needs to be saved. 

Emperor's sister begged Empress Dowager, failed. Emperor begged Empress Ah Jiao to help clear Wei Zi Fu's name, guilt tripping her with this: 

"你是朕的皇后，应该为朕分忧! (Fine print) 忧都是朕造成的不过你要为朕扛下一切!"

Translation: "You are my Empress and should share in my troubles! Troubles that I created myself that you should absorb for me gladly!"

It obviously failed, so the Emperor mobilised a large group of people to investigate this matter. Yea... he only thought of that now. But nvm. He finally narrowed down the culprit to someone related to the Empress and was threatened to let the matter rest by the Grand Empress Dowager who backed the Empress. 

After this incident Wei Zi Fu got "tired" of the fighting in the harem. She heard that the harem was cutting expenses and was retrenching a batch of maids. She (pretended to) volunteer to go to escape this horrible bloodshed (wow so kind), and then cried in front of the Emperor just before her dismissal so he would take pity on her and beg her to stay (wow so devoted).

Let's hasten things up can we? 

Wei Zi Fu came back to the palace, and now that Empress Ah Jiao couldn't openly go against Wei Zi Fu because Wei Zi Fu had the Emperor's favour, instead tried to refocus her efforts on winning the Emperor's favour. She knew the Emperor liked song and dance so wanted to chop down a tree to create a stage in the Imperial Garden. But when both the Emperor and Empress were surveying the site, Wei Zi Fu accidentally on purpose was spotted climbing a tree to save bird eggs as bird eggs so weak she must protect them at all costs. Touched by the pretense, I mean kindness, Emperor decided not to have a stage anymore and wants to be a wildlife conservator together with Wei Zi Fu.

Interestingly, they were never seen rescuing wild animals after this.

The Empress Ah Jiao and her mother then hired a sorceress to poison Wei Zi Fu. Any palace maid could do the job, so why need to take out pants and fart I don't quite get but nvm. Wei Zi Fu of course did not, or pretended not to notice anything amiss but definitely let the Emperor notice how sick she was. Emperor investigated and killed sorceress and traced it back to Empress Ah Jiao. Wei Zi Fu begged Emperor to spare Ah Jiao's life, claiming she was executing the Grand Empress Dowagers' late wishes so Ah Jiao was just removed as Empress and banished to the cold palace forever.

Wei Zi Fu became Empress, so in order for the whole world to call her a Virtuous Empress, she must do what Virtuous Women do best. Was it educating poor children for free? Was it donating money to the poor? Was it building medical points to nurse the injured soldiers fighting along the Xiong Nu border? 

Nah, that involved actual work, thought Wei Zi Fu. What kind of act required me to put in the least effort yet would give me the best public image? That's right, persuade husband to take more concubines.

She forced her husband to take more concubines, to the extent she interrupted political sittings just to ask him to take concubines. Hence the Emperor granted her her wish and took in more concubines, one of whom successfully sowed discord between Wei Zi Fu and the Emperor. 

How was this someone "not interested to compete"? By this point I seriously suspect what Wei Zi Fu was really trying to achieve was feed her own victim complex. (More on this later) But anyway, Emperor eventually found out the truth, pubished the concubine and lived happily ever after with Wei Zi Fu.

My stomach was so touched at the end it cried my dinner.

Why Green Tea Bitches are Disliked

Like I said, there's something about this particular type of character that makes them universally hated, and it isn't just because they stole someone else's man. 

It's the pretense that they are morally above the people they victimised that makes them so unlikeable.

Of course, in a show when the Green Tea Bitch is the female lead, the harm they do to those around them is conveniently glossed over.

Only "Kind" when it serves their public image

The only appropriate time to use the term "virtue signalling" is on people like Wei Zi Fu. 

The whole point of kindness, is doing something to benefit others while scarificing something on your part. It could be your money, time or emotional labour. People like Wei Zi Fu want to sacrifice nothing and still be placed on the saintly pedestal.

Let's talk about that scene with the bird eggs. It's not like Wei Zi Fu couldn't have saved the eggs before the Emperor and Empress arrived. It's not like she couldn't have chosen a different time to be there before the Emperor and Empress announced their presence (like they always do). And she was a Lady at that time, she couldn't get the workers to do it?

I kind of think she's doing it on purpose just to curry favour with the Emperor in front of Empress Ah Jiao!

A more obvious example would be her barging into the Ministers' chambers when she was Empress, in the middle of a political discussion no less, to get the Emperor to take in more concubines. The Emperor could be in the middle of time-critical military operation but no, it was more important for Wei Zi Fu to display her virtue instead of in their private chambers when there was no audience.

And after Empress Ah Jiao almost poisoned her and left her three children motherless, at this point she suddenly decided to show Empress Ah Jiao mercy by begging the Emperor to spare her life. Where was the mercy towards Ah Jiao when it actually mattered (i.e. don't keep frolicking with HER husband in front of her)? On this note- was sparing her life really an act of kindness? A woman like Ah Jiao who had known power and riches all her life would suffer a fate worse than death if she was deposed and cast into the cold palace. Or maybe *horror gasp* that WAS the intent? 

Hypocrisy

Hypocrisy need not mean evil in sheep's clothing. Sometimes, it simply means someone's actions are out of sync with what they preach up till the point it makes people suspect who you are so fundamentally that no one can trust you anymore.

Wei Zi Fu claimed that "don't snatch don't compete" mantra as her life motto, yet everything in the beginning of the show showed us that she had no qualms jumping head first into the potential life of a concubine at any first given opportunity. 

She had no qualms about becoming the Princess' political pawn.

She claimed to be tired of the scheming and killing in the harem yet when time came to put her money where her mouth was by volunteering to leave, she offered to leave then did that crying song and dance in front the Emperor who of course fell for it and persuaded her to stay. 

(Did you see how that happened? With the gold chain coincidentally shining sunlight and catching the Emperor's eyes then the veil lifts on a teary Wei Zi Fu on the brink of dismissal? If that scenario actually panned out in real life, sorry you really cannot blame us for thinking it was done on purpose)

She had no qualms about stealing the Emperor's favour right in front of his rightful wife.

She had no qualms about happily accepting a imperial guard role for her brother that was gotten by unmeritocratic, unorthodox means (hint: cos she slept with the Emperor).

Her so-called kindness involved no actual sacrifice on her part except to move her mouth a few times about adding concubines to the harem when she was already Empress and by extension at a stage when her position could no longer be threatened.

I think I need a microscope to find the virtue in any of this.

Victim of the Year

She's the poor white rabbit everyone wants to protect. She's always being hurt by jealous girls around her, oh boohoo, someone please come and save this pure and innocent soul.

I did a quick scan around other blogs to see if anyone disliked this character as much as I did. Granted, nobody called her a Green Tea Bitch, but many griped that her character was very bland and boring. When I read this and put two and two together, it makes perfect sense to me.

Green Tea Bitches, like Wei Zi Fu, know they ain't shit. They are aware that they are not interesting, not funny, not talented, not intelligent and certainly not kind (because they are unwilling to make real sacrifices that actually being kind entails, especially not when their knight in shining armour isn't watching). They know they will never make anyone authentically like them because of who they inherently are. However, instead of putting in effort to improve themselves like the rest of us normal human beings, what do they do instead? 

They play the victim. 

They paint every other woman in their vicinity as this evil, mean Regina George devil, so that a specific kind of man (more on this below) will leap to their rescue. For them, they are fundamentally unlikeable; hence they pick the path of least effort with maximum benefit.  

Think about it in terms of real life behaviour. How many forever victims (not due to unhappy life events or depression) do you know are also genuinely kind, or intelligent, or interesting or bring something to the table in all their interactions? Personally, after counting the numbers on one hand, my hand formed a fist shape. 

Remember when I said I suspect the real motive for asking the Emperor to get more concubines was because Wei Zi Fu had a victim complex she needed to feed? Logical isn't it? With Ah Jiao in the cold palace, and nobody evil to persecute her, how can she carry on being a "virtuous empress"? She could actually start serving her people and helping the poor but we all know she ain't doing that. Her identity as a kind virtuous Empress would crumble without a jealous crazy woman besider her to provide that contrast. The new concubines would be the persecutors- except this time, Wei Zi Fu was much more confident she would emerge victorious given her newfound power.

The Kind of Men who love Green Tea Bitches (who thankfully, aren't as common as we think)

Without demand, there is no supply. 

Do you think if the Emperor wasn't the kind who would fall for Green Tea Antics there would even be any story here? 

Savior Complex (but is somehow also a victim)

Given all of 15 min of back story in the summary video. what we can gather is that Emperor Liu Che was a spineless man who was, at the start of the story, at the mercy of his aunt and Grand Empress Dowager who helped him ascend the throne. And by extension he was forced to keep Empress Ah Jiao by his side because Empress Ah Jiao was his aunt's daughter.

You may read this and think, wow, seems like Emperor Liu Che was stuck in a really bad situation and could not be blamed for wanting to pursue a true relationship with Wei Zi Fu.

I would like to point you to an interesting detail. At 0:56 in the video, it showed Emperor Liu Che as a child lying to his aunt that he would one day marry Ah Jiao and keep her in a luxurious palace, in a bid to manipulate the aunt to support his path to the throne.

So was he an innocent victim of his circumstances? No, he created the swamp he was swimming in at the start of the show.

Oh but that sure did not stop him from acting like a victim though!

Oh he could not be with Wei Zi Fu, that was Ah Jiao and his aunt's fault. He could not protect the woman he loved, oh it was everyone's fault except his fault. Had he ever stopped to consider for a moment what role he played in this mess?

Had he not lied to his aunt, would his Empress be Ah Jiao today, a woman he did not love? Ok fair enough, he was a kid in a competitive environment and did not know what he signed up for.

Had he not set his record straight with this Empress, would she have the opportunity to do evil?

Had he shown his Empress some respect, would she be this disgruntled? 

Had he not had the moral courage to punish Ah Jiao the moment she crossed the line instead of leaving toxicity to fester in the palace, the woman he (claimed to) love would not consistently be in harm's way. 

Please don't tell me the Emperor was powerless to punish his Empress else he would piss off his aunt and the officials. It was one thing for an impoverished woman like Wei Zi Fu to play the victim in a bid to survive, but another entirely for the Emperor, the literal epitome of power to act like he is powerless!

Shunzhi Emperor deposed (not even punish, DEPOSED) his own Empress who was the niece of his mother, Empress Dowager Xiaozhuang who was very powerful politically. Emperor Gaozong deposed his Empress Wang and emplaced Wu Zetian in her place despite Empress Wang's political connections with the premier then.

Had he pulled his weight and acted like a proper Emperor capable of stabilising his own imperial family, would we see half of the mess that panned out in this show? Any reflection about his decisions at any point in the series? Seems like none.

Of course, the summary video never showed this explicitly but what Emperor Liu Che also had deep down was a saviour complex. In the midst of this mess, he needed to feel like a hero. A hero without actual heroic qualities needs someone who can play his victim so he can fulfill his play pretend fantasy of being a hero. 

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If after reading my post, your thoughts are that I am overreacting to a fictitious character who was simply poorly written and nothing more, well, that's the point. Wei Zi Fu is a badly written character. While the sequence of events in this show and that of the historical Wei Zi Fu were largely similar, the fact is nobody knows what the actual Wei Zi Fu is like.

So my question then is, exactly why is this made into a show and what on earth am I as a viewer supposed to take away from this?

I can't relate to her, because she lacks the complexities and dimensions of a real human being.

I don't even like her, because she's so fake and hypocritical.

I don't even agree with the first principle of this show because virtue in modern society does not mean sleeping with a married man THEN allowing him to sleep with multiple other women! It could very well be in Han Dynasty, but there is no point is showing us a period drama celebrating the outdated, outlawed tradition of polygamy, without lending a modern critique to a story set in an ancient society. Even a documentary about the actual Wei Zi Fu would have had insightful analysis to it- this drama is just about one person's meaningless life happening in chronological order.

So if the point was to promote virtue, then I'd say it misfired spectacularly on many levels.

There are so many better ways to promote female virtue in a realistic, positive way. Look at 2003 Korean Drama Jewel in The Palace. 

The female lead Jang Geum, through her wits, talent and hardwork, excelled in the Imperial Kitchen. After being framed, she picked herself up by learning medicine, and became Joseon's first female imperial doctor, saving countless lives. Her love story was a sub-plot, not the main selling point of her life.

Her righteouness was reasonable, telling the people who framed her that she would not forgive them and they had to face punishments for their crimes because she knew the only way to create a better society was allowing evil to face its consequences. 

This was a woman who, despite being born into a lower caste in a patriachal society, worked against the odds the honest way and was appreciated for her talent rather than her ability to sleep with married men and pop sons out. 

This was a woman who asks "why are the lower castes not allowed to study? why are girls not allowed to attend school?" instead of rubbish like "my husband does not trust me, what do I have to live for!"

This was a woman who made actual effort and sacrifices to benefit her people, not just use mouth talk yet act in a complete opposite manner.

You don't even need to protray a historically famous woman to promote virtue! Tons of ordinary women everyday give us lessons to learn from, what about their stories? Yes they are flawed, yes they care about other things in life other than romance, yes they can make bad decisions on occasion, but they are inspiring in their own way, and most importantly, they are REAL. 

What you say, Chinese drama producers? You're afraid imperfect female characters wouldn't be likeable?

Look at the ratings of Wei Zi Fu- measly 5.8 out of 10 with more people giving it 1 or 2 stars then 4 or 5 stars. You think this is any indication you guys wrote a likeable female lead character?

Just because someone was rich and famous 1000 years ago doesn't mean their lives were worth emulating.

Effeminate men, who have done nothing wrong except have an image some authorities up North disagree with, are banned, yet these are the sort of nonsense values they deem fit to promote. Well done. 

(p.s. I talked about how the historical Wei Zi Fu really did live a life similar to what was portrayed in this show. Slept with the married Liu Che, somehow was painted as the virtuous woman while Empress Ah Jiao was the jealous and crazy one, replaced Ah Jiao as Empress and did not have much recorded about her contributions as Empress. The actual Liu Che was also just as I described - asshole to everyone except Wei Zi Fu.

The real Wei Zi Fu had a horrible ending. She was driven to suicide by her husband Liu Che and her children were also brutally killed by him, leaving one of their great grandchildren as a sole survivor. How convenient they omitted this part in favour of a happy ending huh! Still think being "virtuous" - by this show's definition- pays?)